The very same moment I
saw Mia, I knew I had lost the game. There was this otherworldly aura
around her that made me feel uncomfortable and slightly excited. She
wasn't even looking at me. I'm pretty sure she hadn't noticed me
during the whole trip. But I couldn't stop looking at her, like an
amazed child that looks at colorful and noisy fireworks. Mia was
reading on the train. Mia had earphones on. Mia was popping her pink
chewing gum like a bored teenager.
I said hello and she
pierced my soul with deep green eyes. Oh, what a loss. I was a lost,
lost man. I should've never done that.
But it wasn't her who made me lose. She was the one that made me
realize how lost I was the moment my eyes laid on herself. It may
sound a little bit insane.
I met Mia again two days after. We were not sitting on
a train, waiting for it to leave us to our destinations. She was
working and I was walking down the street. Mia was a waitress at a
petite café in Lilac Square. I sat and ordered a cup of green tea.
Green like her eyes. Since then, I started drinking tea every
morning.
I found myself in between
her ginger hair. I found myself in her laugh. In her freckles. In her
favourite
books. In her bed. In her madness when she couldn't find the keys, or
in her way of never talking about herself. I found myself in her red
nail polish, in her summer dresses. Her voice when she sang along
with the radio. Her way of driving my car, how she looked at the
clouds, her rain boots. Her love letters, her sad letters, her tears.
I found
myself in Mia's loss.
And you may think she broke my heart. In fact, she broke something.
She broke the ground on which I was walking. She broke my scheduled
routine, the monotonous rhythm I was constantly following. She
grabbed my emotions and chewed them like the pink gum she loved. She
popped my life.
Even though the months we spent together, I never discovered who
Mia was. And once she found me, she
lost herself.
And I knew that I wasn't the one
that had to find her.
But
I surely know that I would lose myself to make her find me again.